It appears we have been having some web page problems over the last couple of days.

The problems occoured when we tried to upgrade to the latest version of wordpress and discovered that our export file was corrupt.

Luckly, we had an older backup to revert to.

Phew.

We will most likely try to upgrade again this weekend.

Valentines day has come and gone, and even though the walking legions of the undead are not necessarily associated with this day - its our belief that zombies need love too, and we are prepared to help.

The first thing you need is a pickup line. Pick up line #23 (illustrated above) “I love you for your mind” will send your chosen partner swooning with your obvious grace and style, if you don’t let them see the burning hunger in your eyes. (or eye, or sockets)

If the ravages of time have left you minus vocal cords, or a jaw, this handy message is also available on a shirt and on a sented candle. Convenient yes?

I would like very much to attribute the above picture and or the pickup line to someone, but unfortunately i have been unable to find a source. If you know or are the source of this picture, please send us an email.

Good Luck! (use deodorant)

The Meat

In this, for the lack of a better word, movie, three friends wander around aimlessly and waste time which i could have used doing something infinitely more useful and enjoyable. I see that I’m not going to be able to write this synopsis, so here is the blurb off their official website:

In ZOMBIES GONE WILD, three guys, Marty, Randy, and Leroy go on a spring break road trip in the hopes of becoming men and finding the year’s crop of spring break hotties. They get a hell of a lot more than they bargained for when the girls of their dreams become their worst nightmare. The trio ends up wishing that they were only in hell as they go on the ride of their lives! At times, startling funny and others, downright frightening, ZOMBIES GONE WILD will have the guys wishing they never went looking for some action.

The Bones

Everything about this movie is a lie, that blurb? Lies. Its not only insinuating that this movie actually has a coherent plot, but also appropriates the mistaken impression that you will actually enjoy this film - that sitting down and watching it might be something you want to do. Don’t believe it.

While i am on the topic of lies, why is there a girl with a sword on the front cover of this pile of offal? There are certainly no girls with swords in the movie itself. I would say that this offense to movies everywhere would be marginally improved if they included a girl with a sword, but, when you are dealing with cinematography of this quality - you could add a Jedi Knight fighting Superman and still not even receive as much as a raised eyebrow.

Instead of seeing this movie, i suggest you do something that is infinity more fun, like stabbing yourself repeatedly in each eyeball. The cast constantly seem surprised to see each other and if they ever saw anything resembling a script - i will eat my hand. The cinematography also looks like it has been recorded by a dead monkey (how is that even possible?).

Some movies are so bad that they are good. Snakes on a plane is a good example of this, it being a film which is considered a comedic cult classic. If Zombies Gone Wild were trying to do this here they failed miserably, and instead have produced a film which should be eternally held up as an example as how not to do it.

This is simply the worst film i have ever seen. Do not see this skid-mark of a movie unless you have to, and, if you absolutely have to see this film - close your eyes try to will yourself to death.